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PostPosted: 05/20/05 11:27 am 
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http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/05/18 ... _knickers/

Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers

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The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest.

For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to all those members of the neoLuddite Resistance Army who have written in to suggest that this is in fact another manifestation of the Rise of the Machines™. The elimination of the female of the species through vibrating panties? It's a chilling thought, but what a way to go...


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PostPosted: 05/20/05 11:37 am 
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Aroused by 2 1/2"?!?!? :shock: Let it be written on the record, this is not even half the size of the average dick :o

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PostPosted: 05/20/05 12:01 pm 
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Bitter_Almonds wrote:
Aroused by 2 1/2"?!?!? :shock: Let it be written on the record, this is not even half the size of the average dick :o


You obviously know nothing about sex toys (or women for that matter). The best selling sex toys of all time, the pocket rocket and the magic wand are themselves only 2.5". It ain't the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean (ucsd translation: women prefer vibrators to dildos).


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PostPosted: 05/20/05 12:10 pm 
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Rice Taco wrote:
You obviously know nothing about sex toys (or women for that matter). The best selling sex toys of all time, the pocket rocket and the magic wand are themselves only 2.5". It ain't the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean (ucsd translation: women prefer vibrators to dildos).


If you really know females and their toys, you'll know that the goal is mainly to stimulate the clitoris. And that doesn't really require any 9" Mandingo dongs...


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PostPosted: 05/20/05 12:18 pm 
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Username wrote:
Rice Taco wrote:
You obviously know nothing about sex toys (or women for that matter). The best selling sex toys of all time, the pocket rocket and the magic wand are themselves only 2.5". It ain't the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean (ucsd translation: women prefer vibrators to dildos).


If you really know females and their toys, you'll know that the goal is mainly to stimulate the clitoris. And that doesn't really require any 9" Mandingo dongs...


Did you even read what I wrote? Thats exactly what I said you dumb fuck.

Quote:
women prefer vibrators to dildos


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PostPosted: 05/20/05 6:07 pm 
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woah dude, so hostile. he might have started writing his post before you submitted yours? or maybe he really wanted to use mandingo in a sentence. take a deep breath... relax...


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PostPosted: 05/20/05 7:14 pm 
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Skogul wrote:
woah dude, so hostile. he might have started writing his post before you submitted yours? or maybe he really wanted to use mandingo in a sentence. take a deep breath... relax...


thank you boy scout. I feel much better now.


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PostPosted: 05/21/05 1:00 am 
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Skogul wrote:
woah dude, so hostile. he might have started writing his post before you submitted yours? or maybe he really wanted to use mandingo in a sentence. take a deep breath... relax...


The funny part is that this guy is actually dead serious about his opinion on "women" and sex.

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PostPosted: 05/21/05 10:32 am 
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Bitter_Almonds wrote:
Skogul wrote:
woah dude, so hostile. he might have started writing his post before you submitted yours? or maybe he really wanted to use mandingo in a sentence. take a deep breath... relax...


The funny part is that this guy is actually dead serious about his opinion on "women" and sex.


Oh bulletin boards aren't the place for opinions and thoughts? I guess then I'll keep my wish that your mother's medical plan included abortions to myself.


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PostPosted: 05/21/05 11:38 am 
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Rice Taco wrote:
Oh bulletin boards aren't the place for opinions and thoughts?


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Exactly, Rice Dick.

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PostPosted: 05/21/05 12:22 pm 
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Bitter_Almonds wrote:
Rice Taco wrote:
Oh bulletin boards aren't the place for opinions and thoughts?


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Exactly, Rice Dick.


I'm going to pray to Jesus to give you nut cancer.


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PostPosted: 05/21/05 12:45 pm 
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It's called testicular cancer.


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PostPosted: 05/21/05 12:58 pm 
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eyohannie wrote:
It's called testicular cancer.


oh really? damn you must be a rhodes scholar or something.


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PostPosted: 05/21/05 1:49 pm 
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Why yes I am.


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